


cracks in the floorboard

by noahliza



Series: tamagotchi [4]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: this one's a lot of crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 18:21:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20050495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noahliza/pseuds/noahliza
Summary: [won't offer you a thing]it's bad for the heart to only focus on the negatives.





	cracks in the floorboard

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for your patience between entries! i struggled with the ending of this a bit more than i should have, haha

Roxas arrived at the Mysterious Tower mid-morning. He’d come to visit Lea and everyone for a weekend, and to get some sparring in so that he wouldn’t get too out of practice.

Morning training went well, Roxas was able to dive right back into things. Lunch time came before he knew it, and he was surprised to see that Sora didn’t join them for their meal. He didn’t join after lunch, either; Roxas felt a pit form in his stomach, for some reason it felt like something was wrong.

“Does Sora not train with you guys any more?” Roxas asked Lea. 

Lea shrugged. “I don’t really know. He kinda did for a bit, but he’s been gone more days than he’s been here, lately.”

“Huh…” Roxas crossed his arms. He figured asking Kairi or Riku would give him a better answer,  _ ‘they’re Sora’s best friends, after all’ _ . “Hang on, I’ll be back in a bit.” Roxas turned and walked towards Riku and Kairi, who were sparring.

“Hey, how come Sora’s not here?” Roxas loudly interrupted the two, making sure he was heard. They both skidded to a stop and dismissed their keyblades.

“What?” Kairi panted.

“Why isn’t Sora here?” Roxas repeated himself. “Lea told me he hasn’t been training with everyone lately.”

“Oh, yeah.” Kairi nodded. “He’s just been hanging out by himself a lot, for the past few days.”

Roxas stared at her for a moment, dumbfounded. “You don’t see anything  _ weird  _ with that?”

“What do you mean?” 

“Sora, of all people, being  _ alone a lot _ ?” Roxas tensed up, frustrated with their lack of concern. “You don’t think that’s off at all?”

“He said he was okay,” Riku chimed in.

“To your faces?” Roxas asked.

“No?” Kairi shook her head. “Over text.”

“Oh my god, some  _ best friends _ you are.” Roxas muttered under his breath. “I’m gonna go find him. Something’s  _ obviously  _ wrong.”

Roxas stormed off before either Kairi or Riku could reply. It took him a bit to figure out which room was Sora’s, since he wasn’t used to the Mysterious Tower’s layout.

Roxas threw the door open to a dark bedroom. The lights were off and the curtain was drawn. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, then he saw Sora laying in bed. There was no rise-and-fall under the blanket, Roxas realized Sora was holding his breath.

“You’re bad at faking sleep.” Roxas called Sora out. 

“Go away, I’m - Roxas?” Sora rolled over and sat up, head tilted in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“Visiting.” Roxas shrugged. “Why’ve you been hiding in your room?”

“What? I haven’t been.”

“Oh? I’ve got three people downstairs that told me otherwise.” Roxas’ tone was flat.

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” Sora gave a small smile and hand-waved Roxas’ concern.

“Seriously?” Roxas snapped, more harshly than he’d intended. Sora backed down, his smile gone. “Ugh, sorry. Just. Look, I  _ know  _ that a Sora that’s  _ fine  _ doesn’t just disappear into his room like this.”

“It’s fine…” Sora tried again, then folded. It was clear Roxas wasn’t going to drop it. “How do you know that?”

“I dunno, I just do.” Roxas shrugged. He sat on the edge of the bed. “If something’s going on, you gotta tell somebody.”

“Quit sounding so wise, I’m older than you.” Sora groaned.

Roxas snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I guess you are.” He looked directly into Sora’s eyes. “Seriously though, tell me what’s wrong.”

Sora looked away. “It’s stupid…”

“So?” Roxas adjusted his position, making himself comfier on Sora’s bed. “Just tell me.”

“I just…” Sora’s voice cracked, he already seemed on the verge of tears. “I don’t know what to do any more…”

“What do you mean..?”

“I don’t know where to go…” Sora sniffled, and tears began rolling down his cheeks. “Everywhere I go just feels...not right.  _ Home  _ \- I...I tried to go back home, to the...To Destiny Islands, but -” he cut himself off with a shuddering breath.

“What about here?” 

“I don’t know!” Sora hunched forward miserably, curling in on himself a bit. “Here’s just...it sucks! It’s so stressful!” 

Roxas was at a loss, he didn’t consider himself an expert at the whole ‘comforting someone who’s crying’ thing. Yet, he had an instinctive feeling that Sora just needed someone to stay close. He reached out, and gently rested his hand on Sora’s shoulder. 

It was quiet, save for Sora’s uneven breathing and sniffling.

“Do you...um, do you wanna talk about why it’s stressful?” Roxas tried.

“I guess…” Sora nodded. “It’s been...so weird, to come back? Riku and Kairi and Lea are doing  _ so well _ \- um, it’s great, I mean - I just…” he trailed off.

“It’s okay, you can say it.” Roxas slowly stroked Sora’s upper back. 

“ _ Where does that leave me? _ ” Sora choked the words out, like it hurt to say them. 

Roxas was stunned.

“Riku and Kairi won’t hang out, either!” Sora quickly changed the subject. “We used to be best friends! All three of us!” 

“Like...not at all?” Roxas thought back to the training hall. They’d  _ seemed  _ fine, but was it only because they were sparring?

“No!” Sora’s voice cracked. “It’s...it’s like they don’t like each other any more, or something…I had to split up all my time, because they’d...just get really weird if I tried to - um, to have the three of us do something...”

“Have you talked to them about this?” Roxas asked, trying to keep his tone gentle.

“No…” Sora groaned miserably.

“Okay, well...you gotta. It’ll help, even if things don’t get fixed, you gotta  _ tell people things. _ ”

“I don’t want to bring anyone down…” Sora rubbed his eyes, trying to wipe away the tears that kept coming. 

“That’s not how that works, Sora,” Roxas sighed quietly. “Just talk to people, please?”

“Okay…” Sora sniffled.

“What did you mean, though, earlier?” Roxas asked. “With the training stuff?”

Sora tensed.

“Please, just tell me.”

“I’m not good enough! I - I’m not  _ doing  _ good enough..!” Sora’s breath hitched as he started crying harder. “Yen Sid wants me to know what I’m doing, but I don’t! I just  _ don’t _ !”

“Sora…” Roxas murmured. He moved in closer and opened his arms in an offering. Sora accepted wordlessly, and buried his face in the crook of Roxas’ neck. Roxas held him loosely, unsure what exactly he should do.

“I  _ should _ retake the Mark of Mastery, I...I didn’t care at first, that I didn’t pass...I took it with Riku  _ for him _ , y’know?” Sora’s voice was slightly muffled by Roxas’ shirt. “But now I just...feel so stupid, and weak...I feel like I have to pass it to prove that I’m not…”

“You don’t have to-” 

“I am, though!” Sora cut Roxas off. “I am stupid and weak, I know it...but I hate it...I don’t wanna be..!”

“I don’t think you’re either of those things, Sora.” Roxas murmured and held Sora closer. “I was in your heart, remember? I  _ know _ it’s a strong heart. I  _ know  _ you’re strong.”

Sora sobbed, and Roxas tried to ignore the growing wet spot on his shirt. 

“If you feel like you  _ should _ take it, does that mean you don’t  _ want _ to?” Roxas asked.

“I’m too scared!” Sora wailed. “I don’t wanna disappear again!”

“S-Sora?!” Roxas panicked. He let go of Sora to look him in the eyes.

“I don’t want the Power of Waking any more! I don’t wanna disappear!” Sora choked on a sob. “I’m scared..!”

Roxas took Sora’s hands in his, desperately trying to ground both of them. It felt like the floor was crumbling beneath him, seeing Sora like this. He had no idea what to do. Maybe there wasn’t anything he  _ could  _ do.

“Nothing was supposed to be like this,” Sora whispered hoarsely. “I wasn’t supposed to get a keyblade. Riku was. I was…I...”

Roxas waited quietly, until he realized that Sora wasn’t going to finish unprompted. “You were what?”

“I was the second option, Roxas!” Sora’s voice cracked, strained. “ _ I should have fallen to darkness with the rest of Destiny Islands! _ ”

Roxas hurriedly wrapped his arms around Sora once again and held on tight, anchoring them in the typhoon of Sora’s emotions. The thought of Sora never having gone on his journey was terrifying, somehow.

“Do you...wish you had?” Roxas murmured. He realized, if things hadn’t gone the way they did, would he have even come into existence? Would Xion?

“No..!” Sora clung onto Roxas, shaking. “Wouldn’t it have been better, though..? If things went how they were supposed to?”

“I don’t think so.” 

Sora paused to look up at Roxas, surprised. Roxas’ heart ached to see the pain and fear that shone in Sora’s eyes.

“You...you don’t?”

“It’s probably...really hard to believe, since you feel like that. But, everyone’s glad you’re here. Everyone’s happy when you’re around. It’s not...just because of you acting happy. Everyone loves  _ you _ , Sora.”

“Really?” Sora sniffled

“Yeah. Go talk to them, okay?”

“Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> i just really feel like roxas would have a 6th sense with sora's feelings, from spending time in sora's heart, ya know?
> 
> check out my ramblings @ noa_rat on twitter!
> 
> series + title from sea in the sky
> 
> thank you for reading :)


End file.
